Three Things — The Truth About Fear

Three Things, my Wednesday post series, inspired by my love for bite-sized, tiny but mighty pieces of information.

One. This —

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”

— Pema Chödrön

My response to truth feels like I’m an onion slowly peeling layers as I get close to it. I brush up against it, I shake loose a tattered layer of a story I told about myself. I rest in that place for a bit, taking stock, and then dig a little deeper to the next layer down.

Finding the next bit of truth, my layers become more whole, ripe with more parts of myself rather than something I had constructed out of fear.


Two. Ask for What You Want.

A hard concept, it used to be for me, at least. And slowly in the last couple of years I have put this firmly into practice. Recently, I had a conversation with a client who was looking for a new professional opportunity. She was hesitant to tell her contacts she was in the market, viewing it as a point of weakness.

She is an accomplished, professional woman. She sits on boards, chairs events, and has dozens of solid relationships with community leaders. Why in the world wouldn’t they want to know she’s available?

Tell people what you’re looking for. Let them help, spread the word, and support you. Make the Ask. It’s important.


Three. Worn Down + Fed Up. —

I’ve had several conversations over the past few days with people who are worn down. Tired. Beat. Need a break. Collectively, that is. One of the biggest causes seems to be assuming responsibility for something that’s not theirs.

Someone else’s reactions, actions, behavior, or all of the above. It rests heavy like the lead smock the dentist drapes over a patient for an X-ray. Debilitating? No. But too many of them piled on top of one another and you’re going to have trouble breathing easily.

I say, take it off and give it back. Hell, take all of them off. Knock on the door and hand them over. You’re just returning their property.