Your Ultimate Guide to Busting Through Fear

Fact — I like to skip small talk and go in for big talk. Of course during coaching sessions with clients, but also at a party with someone I’ve just met or maybe with a family member I haven’t seen in awhile. Rather than discuss the mind numbing topic of weather, I want to know what you have on deck in life, if you’re lying awake at 4 am, and what’s on your wishlist.

I’ve learned by being honest with my own struggles and listening to theirs — we are virtually all the same. Identical thought patterns or “problems” that feel so unique in our head, are anything but.

You’re chock full of commonalities with the stranger in line behind you at the grocery store, your new buddy at the gym, and the second cousin you haven’t seen in 12 years because you have “nothing” to talk about.

I’ve found, by far, the most prevalent topic is fear. Not that we come out and say, “I’m scared.” Fear masquerades as doubt, worry, anxiety, or that inner self-critic and then plays out in our mindset, actions, and conversations.

Let’s consider a few fear-based phrases and mindsets that may feel familiar

  • It may sound like, “I can’t.”

    And you’re right! You can’t because you told yourself you can’t and now you believe it to be true. And until you have a shift in thinking, this WILL be your reality.

  • What about, “No, that’s not going to work because…”

    This could be based in merit. It might not work because of a missing step or more information needed. But if you find yourself saying this more often that not without brainstorming some solutions or workarounds, this is fear.

  • Or maybe, “I’ll do that later. Right now I need to work on X.”

    Which may be valid, but if you fill your days with lists of small tasks and don’t find yourself making progress on bigger projects, this is fear.

  • It looks like never throwing your hat in the ring to lead the big project at work.
  • It keeps you from submitting an application for a new position you really want in your dream city.
  • It doesn’t think you should AT ALL speak to your boss about working from home one day a week.

Now that we have identified how fear sounds, feels, and looks like in everyday life, let’s talk about what we can do about it.

For the purposes of this post, I’m going to focus on actionable ways to deal with fear. I will save the behind the scenes patterns leading to fearful thoughts for another post. Right now, I want to provide you with a toolkit and get you moving through your fear.

Here’s Why —

When you’re operating in fear, Making Gold is not an option. You’re in survival mode and can’t think much past it let alone make the best of your day.

You’ve likely heard me talk about Making Gold before, it’s the phrase I use to describe making the best of where you are now. With what’s in front of you. Ultimately leading the way to where you want to go. One foot in front of the other.

If I could cover the words in glitter and have a unicorn jump out of the screen at your face I would, just to highlight how impactful it can be in your life.

Making Gold is about putting habits in place. Perspective. Spending time with yourself and getting REAL clear on what you’re doing (or not) and want for your days and life. It’s about applying 7 ways to turn your days into gold.